STILL-LIFE WITH INTRUSIVE THOUGHTS
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Swollen clouds rest on mountain peaks, roofs, trees, daring us all to risk a walk outside without getting drenched. Years ago, I used to dream of floating up to the rainclouds, close enough to reach a god who would offer answers, offer a nimbus for me to rest my head. This was the winter before I started avoiding walking across bridges for fear I’d throw myself off. Some days when I sit on the roof, I still feel the urge to jump. And some days I want something I can’t have: happiness, maybe. The world says No. Sometimes I want something I don’t deserve. The world says Stop. And life goes on. |